I have been feeling particularly angry and violent this week, perhaps brought on by my lack of sleep. I have been waking up earlier than normal in order to keep up my new morning gym routine. Consequently, my fellow exercise aficionados are my prime targets. All morning I fantasize about yelling, punching and even kicking these annoying people. In an effort to release (at least mentally) some of my anger, I have compiled a list of people that I hate at the gym.
1. ALL of the unabashed naked women that surround me at every turn.
*I understand that I may be somewhat of a prude in a locker room environment, but these people have no respect. They bend over in everyone’s faces, have lengthy conversations with each other while standing right beside me, and give me dirty looks for wearing a robe (a little thin one, not some floor length terry cloth job) over to the showers.
2. Every single woman that walks past my locker aisle and stares me down while I’m dressing.
3. The woman who brings an additional duffel bag full of hair, makeup and skin products and spreads them out over an extensive area like she owns the place.
4. The woman who sits (naked, of course) in front of the only full length mirror for forty-five minutes drying her hair and styling it.
5. The eighty-five year old people who get in my swim lane and proceed to swim at a negative ten mile an hour pace, especially when I only have 5 more laps to go.
6. The hot men’s swim team members who flaunt their skimpy Speedos in the lane next to me while I try to suck it in and swim faster, so as not to appear so out of shape.
7. Anyone who attempts to pass me while I’m swimming.
8. The women who take my favorite showers stalls and my favorite lockers.