MTA Strike Contingency Plan

From the Metropolitan Transit Authority website:

• If at all possible, work from home or arrange an alternative work location.
• LIRR trains will be crowded, so avoid travelling between the hours of 9 and 5 on weekdays.
• All vehicles must have a minimum of 4 people each with an average annual income of $150,000, or alternately, 2 people both with an average annual income exceeding $1 million in order to be allowed access into Manhattan.
• Roads, bridges and tunnels will be heavily congested. When at all possible, utilize helicopters, yachts or parasails to reach your destination.
• If you must use your BMW SL-E 2006 All-Terrain Torpedo Car to burrow through the sediment dividing Westchester from Manhattan, please remember that you may only do so between the hours of 11 and 3.